| Arsenal Football Club- Cruel banal footballs. |
| Aston Villa - Vital loans |
| Blackburn Rovers - Verbal cork burns |
| Bolton Wanderers - Now nerd bloaters |
| Charlton Athletic - Clitoral chat then, Halt technical rot |
| Chelsea Football Club - Callous fat leech blob |
| Derby County - Dunce by Tory |
| Everton Football Club - Lovelorn, fat, cute blob |
| Fulham FC - Calm huff |
| Ipswich Town - Cow with spin |
| Leeds United- Sudden elite - Tuned diesel - I needed slut |
| Leicester City - Electric Yetis |
| Liverpool FC - Pelvic floor |
| Manchester Utd - Rent hated scum, Urine detachments, The Entrained Scum, Stained hen rectum, Scum need the train |
| Middlesbrough - His odd grumble |
| Newcastle United - Wet dense lunatic |
| Southampton - Phantoms out |
| Sunderland - Nun ladders |
| Tottenham Hotspur- To the posh tantrum |
| West Ham United - With nude mates - I am the new dust |
